Addison Rae would not let the haters get her down. The 20-year-old TikTookay star covers Glamour U.Okay.‘s digital February subject, and displays on the “online hate” she receives, lots of which has to do with physique picture.
“It’s a really hard thing to deal with when you’re a girl, especially going through your teens,” she says. “I am 20 and my body is constantly changing, but people have this high standard around body image and say, ‘Oh, you have to look like this to look great or to look hot or to be cool or to be pretty.'”
“For me, a lot of people have said, ‘Oh I love how comfortable she is and she doesn’t look like the beauty standard.’ It’s a backhanded compliment sometimes because people will be like, ‘I’m so glad she’s confident that she doesn’t look perfect,'” Rae continues. “It hurts sometimes when people say that, because I think everyone’s perfect, so why is there some standard of ‘this body is the ideal body’?”
Though she’s towards the thought that there is an excellent physique, Rae admits to beforehand falling sufferer to the stress of societal magnificence requirements a time or two.
“I used to ask myself, ‘Why doesn’t my body look like that? Or why isn’t my hair that way? Or why is my face this way?’ Or even feature-wise, sometimes I would just really look at myself and pick myself apart for no reason,” she says. “There is so much going on in the world today, adding self-esteem onto that is really tough. If you can’t mentally, emotionally or physically love who you are it becomes really difficult to even be happy.”
“I know I’ve not been eating the best during quarantine or maybe not working out as much and watching a lot of TV, but we need to give ourselves grace,” Rae provides.
Allowing herself that grace is one thing Rae started doing because of time spent in remedy.
“I started seeing a therapist, which was really helpful just to not feel so down about myself,” she says. “Self-worth is a big thing that I’ve been working on the past few months because it’s definitely a real struggle, and it does affect you in your daily life, not having high self-worth.”
“Therapy is a great way to work on that and it’s an outlet to speak on things that are bothering you internally,” Rae continues. “Just being able to have someone to talk to has been a big thing for me and understanding that if you let people understand you a little more, then they will.”
Among its greatest takeaways, remedy helped Rae to really feel worthy and cherished as she is.
“There’s this one quote that I love: ‘comparison is the thief of joy.’ That’s so true because when you start comparing yourself to someone, you’re just asking to be upset because you’re comparing yourself to something that you will never be, because you’re only you,” she says. “… I have thought a lot in the past year that it doesn’t really define me and I am learning to love my body and who I am, for what I am.”
As for these destructive feedback, which Rae believes come from a “totally understandable” place of “envy” — one thing she herself has felt too — the TikTookay star does her finest to not allow them to get to her.
“That doesn’t define me, and they don’t really truly know me in my heart,” she says. “There’s going to be people that don’t like you and that want to tear you down, but you have to love yourself for who you are.”
In addition to remedy, Rae has leaned on her family and friends for help, together with certainly one of her finest friends, Kourtney Kardashian.
“It’s really inspiring to see people that are so happy in their lives and are so put together after everything they’ve been through,” Rae says. “That’s why I look up to Kourtney a lot and her entire family — throughout everything you can lean back on your family and friends to really have that emotional and mental support. It really pulls you through at the end.”
“Something that she told me was, ‘Make sure you’re always enjoying what you’re doing because this is the life you’re living. Make sure it’s something that you’re proud of and you’re continuing to do the things you love,'” she provides.
Rae is set to star alongside Kardashian in He’s All That, her first performing gig. She’s equal components excited for the chance and ready for the judgments she’s prone to obtain.
“It’s been a dream of mine forever to be an actress. To be really called one now, is just really insane. Growing up, I was always in acting classes and watching movies and pretending I was the character,” she says. “The reaction is a little scary sometimes because people don’t really know what I did or aspired to do before I started social media. People base anything I do off, ‘Oh, she started on social media,’ but without knowing my background or knowing I’ve always been in acting classes.”
Despite her TikTookay success and burgeoning performing profession, Rae says she’s most pleased with herself for “staying mentally healthy” amid a difficult time.
“Going through the changes of life, really staying grounded, and remembering where I’m from. There’s so many times that I’ve been like, ‘This is a lot, maybe it’s mentally challenging,’ and then wanting to give up,” she says. “But then I remember that I got where I am today, and that I should take every opportunity I can to just accomplish everything that I dreamed of.”
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